Funny Morning Quotes – To Put The ‘Good’ In ‘Good Morning’

We like to encourage a positive, inspiring start to the morning. Which can also be done with a little humor!

Because, we aren’t all morning people.

Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning, or even fake being spritely and awake.

These funny morning quotes are for all those times when you just can’t seem to muster up the energy to put on a brave face. Plus, they’re perfect for those days (or mornings) when you could really use a good laugh.

funny morning quotes

Funny Morning Quotes


“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” Dean Martin


“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” Glen Cook


“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” Henny Youngman


“Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.” William Feather


“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” Robert Frost


“Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.” Emo Philips


“Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more and I go back to bed.” Gehenna Toss


“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” Robert Orben


“I like to use ‘I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter’ on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.” Demetri Martin


“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.” Ray Bradbury


“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”  Tony Smite


“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’” Steven Wright


“Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” Jim Davis

“Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day.” Nicolas Chamfort


“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” Kurt Vonnegut


“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.” Punit Ghadge


“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” Benjamin Franklin


“I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you’re really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you’re saying: ‘Hope I don’t get chased today.’ ‘Be nice to people in sneakers.’”                Demetri Martin


“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” Ursula K. Le Guin


“In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs.” Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Some mornings you wake up and think, gee I look handsome today. Other days I think, what am I doing in the movies? I wanna go back to Ireland and drive a forklift.” Liam Neeson


“I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn’t like it.” Samuel Goldwyn


“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” Marlo Thomas


“There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God’’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning!’”  Fulton J. Sheen


“When I wake up in the morning, I feel like a billionaire without paying taxes.” Ernie Banks


“I see myself at 7:30 in the morning and it’s not too pretty.” Rod Stewart


“It’s not fun to get out of bed early in the morning. When the alarm goes off, it doesn’t sing you a song: it hits you in the head with a baseball bat. So how do you respond to that? Do you crawl underneath your covers and hide? Or do you get up, get aggressive, and attack the day?” Jocko Willink


“Basically, I wake up in the morning and I think everything’s going to be great. I’m really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up ‘The New York Times,’ and I look at the front page and realize that once again I’m wrong. I start to fixate on stuff.” Lewis Black


“Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.” Bill Gates


“What’s the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning? Wish I hadn’t.” Morrissey


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