24 Really Funny Health Quotes

This collection of funny quotes are all about being healthy.

Fair disclosure: I’m on a health kick right now. I’m a little sore and achy, a bit hangry and well, let’s face it – a bit gnarly to be honest.

So it’s the perfect time to round up some funny quotes about health and wellbeing.

Because sometimes when we apply humor to these ‘hard’ times in life, it helps make it a bit more manageable. Just so we can get through that ‘hump’ if you know what I mean.

Therefore, here are some of the funniest quotes about health and wellness that I could find. Let’s laugh about it and then keep on pushing through! 🙂


Funny Healthy Quotes


“The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much…”  Lazar Angelov


“When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they’re going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they’re going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.” Douglas Coupland


“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” Joan Rivers


You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour. Zen Proverb


“To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.” Mark Twain


“I’m not napping this is savasana.” Berndt Vogel


“Do not fear what you cannot lift, fear that which can lift you.” Uziel Matos Lima


“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Warren Zevon


“Yoga class helps me calm down from the agonizing stress of trying to get to yoga class on time.” Sadhguru


“When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away.” Robert M. Hutchins


“They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.” Chi Chi Rodriguez


“Unless you puke, faint or die, keep going!” Jillian Michaels


“What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners? Too many attachments!” Sadhana Yoga


“Exercise is done against one’s wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse.” George A. Sheehan


“If you’re using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?” Dave Attell


“Muscles come and go; flab lasts.” Bill Vaughan


“Let’s have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle.” Earl Blumenauer


“I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” Marsha Doble


“Find fitness with fun dancing. It is fun and makes you forget about the dreaded exercise.” Paula Abdul


“You can close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relaxing place. Like on your sofa, not doing yoga.” Grant Tucker


“If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most.” Jason Lov


“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” Steven Wright


“Is taco yoga a thing yet? Someone get on that.” Chisty Lowe


“I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.” Fred Allen



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