Funny Bio Quotes for Instagram

Random, funny statements can be okay for Instagram bios, but funny quotes are way better! The following collection are all short, sharp and hilarious – making them perfect for that rather small space in your bio section…

What makes a good Instagram bio quote?

A good Instagram bio quote is one that is funny, eye-catching and/or interesting.

It can be about you, or something else entirely. But it should be something that catches people’s attention and makes them want to learn more about you.

Short, witty quotes make the perfect bio as you are ‘quoting’ someone else, whether it’s a comedian or a wise, witty scholar. In quoting this person, you’re identifying with them, and giving people a taste of your personality. It also shows that you’re well-read and have a sense of humor.

So, if you’re looking for a good Instagram bio quote, look no further! These funny and interesting quotes will get you started. And who knows, maybe one of them will inspire your very own original bio!

Funny Bio Quotes For Instagram


“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.” Steven Wright


“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” George Burns


“Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.” Oliver Goldsmith


“A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.” Ljupka Cvetanova


“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” Confucius


“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.” Douglas Adams


“Humpty Dumpty was pushed!” Elisabeth Richards


“A witty saying proves nothing.” Voltaire


“Black Holes are where God divided by zero.” Albert Einstein


“All generalizations are false.” Mark Twain


“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln


“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” Woodrow Wilson


“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” Mitch Hedberg


“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” Steven Wright


“Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.” Franklin Jones


“Puns are the highest form of literature.” Alfred Hitchcock


“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” Robert J. Sawyer


“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” Margaret Mead


“My mistakes are usually so enjoyable that I tend to repeat them.” Lisa Kleypas


“Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.” Philander Johnson


“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” Oliver Herford


“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” Steven Wright


“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” Dylan Thomas


“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” Don Marquis


“I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.” Seasick Steve


“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” Isaac Asimov


“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” Thomas Sowell


“I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.” Mark Twain


If you’re interested in more ideas for funny or awesome captions and quotes, then be sure to check out:

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