Salty Life Quotes & Sayings – For A Laugh

What does it mean to be ‘salty’?

Being ‘salty’ means to be cynical, irritated, angry, bitter or grumpy.

It can be a quick change in demeanour, as a result of something that happened, or because they feel short-changed. Though some people may be described as salty all the time 😊

When people are said to be acting ‘salty’, they are often being negative or pessimistic about life in general.

It can also be quite funny – or maybe that’s just my humor? But ‘salty’ as a slang word is kind of a wry slant on grumpy and agitated and normally means no harm.

The following salty life quotes are therefore great for a quick laugh:


Salty Life Quotes


“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” Isaac Asimov


“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” Erma Bombeck


“In some cases, I quite like irritating people who need to be irritated.” Robert Smith


“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” Bob Hope


“Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change.” Jesse Jackson


“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung


“This person they make me out to be irritates the hell out of me as well.” Victoria Beckham


“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” Alan Dundes


“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” Steven Wright


“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin


“I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.” Charles M. Schulz


“Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.” Daniel J. Boorstin


“Anyone who has declared someone else to be an idiot, a bad apple, is annoyed when it turns out in the end that he isn’t.” Friedrich Nietzsche


“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” Caroline Rhea


“If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?” Rumi


“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.” Sam Levenson


“Some people take offense like it’s a limited time offer.” Tim Fargo


“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” Douglas Adams


“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln


“I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” Mitch Hedberg


“Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana


“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” Charles Lamb


“I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.” Steven Wright


“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” Mitch Hedberg


Quotes About Being Salty


“My life needs editing.” Mort Sahl


“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” Henry Kissinger


“Between friends differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.” W. H. Auden


“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” David Lee Roth


“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” Alexander Woollcott


“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.” Ann Landers


“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” Arthur C. Clarke


“If someone irritates you, it is only your own response that is irritating you. Therefore, when anyone seems to be provoking you, remember that it is only your judgment of the incident that provokes you.” Epictetus


“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” Don Marquis


“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” Dylan Thomas


“It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” Thomas Sowell


“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.” Norm Crosby


“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” Elbert Hubbard


“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” Mark Twain


For more funny life quotes, be sure to check out:

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