Funny & Inspiring Quotes About Aging

These funny quotes about aging all look on the bright side of life!

They may make you laugh, but they also all have a little truth and a kind message about aging that is worth taking to heart.

They are perfect for adding to ‘happy birthday’ wishes, a joking text message or a inspirational, yet funny banter between friends and family.

funny quotes about aging

Funny Age Quotes


“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” Arthur Schopenhauer


funny quotes about age


“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.” Agatha Christie


“I am not young enough to know everything.” Oscar Wilde


“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” George Burns


funny age quote


“You know you’re getting old when all the names in your black book have M. D. after them.” Harrison Ford


“As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.” Robert Quillen


“Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” Joan Collins


“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” George Burns


“About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.” Gloria Pitzer


“The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.” H.L. Mencken


“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.” George Burns


“Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” Ogden Nash


“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” George Burns


“Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.” James Thurber


“The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped.” Cesare Pavese


“The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” Doris Day


“In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.” Josh Billings


“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” Bill Vaughan


“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” Robert Frost


“Old age is a shipwreck.” Charles de Gaulle


“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” Bob Hope


“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.” Bob Hope


“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re aboard, there’s nothing you can do.” Golda Meir


funny quote about age mark twain


“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Mark Twain


“Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.” Tom Stoppard


“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” Kurt Vonnegut


“Youth is wasted on the young.” George Bernard Shaw


“As men get older, the toys get more expensive.” Marvin Davis


“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” Helen Hayes


“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Lucille Ball


“Surrounding myself with beautiful women keeps me young.” Hugh Hefner


“A grownup is a child with layers on.” Woody Harrelson


“I’m happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.” James Broughton


“Old age is no place for sissies.” Bette Davis


“Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” Pope John XXIII


“Do not go gentle into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Dylan Thomas


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