Funny Car Quotes & Sayings
Car lovers are always coming up with clever, funny sayings about their favorite mode of transportation.
Whether they’re making fun of the frustrating things that happen while driving or simply poking a little fun at the stereotypes surrounding cars, those who love cars know how to keep things light-hearted and entertaining.
Here are just a few of the best funny car quotes and sayings:
Funny Car Quotes & Sayings
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.’” Rita Rudner
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.” Doug Larson
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.” Steven Wright
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.” Colin Mcrae
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.” Francoise Sagan
“Never have more children than you have car windows.” Erma Bombeck
“Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.” E. Joseph Cossman
“Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.” Erma Bombeck
We aren’t addicted to oil, but our cars are. James Woolsey
“Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars.” Tom Arnold
“Don’t get your fuel from the same place your car does.” Michael Pollan
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” Albert Einstein
“It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down.” Mario Andretti
“Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.” E. B. White
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.” Dudley Moore
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” Prince Philip
“Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.” Craig Benzine
“Relationships, like cars, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy.” Zygmunt Bauman
“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” Tim Allen
“Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.” Colin Powell
“If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.” Jeff Foxworthy
“A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system.” Jean Cocteau
“A muscle is like a car. If you want it to run well early in the morning, you have to warm it up.” Florence Griffith Joyner
“I drive a car that has pleather seats.” Kathy Freston
“A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.” Kenneth Tynan
“I’ve always been asked, ‘What is my favorite car?’ and I’ve always said ‘The next one.’” Carroll Shelby
“One person’s car is another person’s scenery.” Jonathan Ive
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