Jealousy is irrational and absurd. It’s destructive to relationships with others and to ourselves.
When you feel jealous, it can be hard to think straight or act logically. Jealousy is often based on unfounded fears and can lead to a lot of negative emotions and destructive behavior.
These funny quotes about jealousy help to lighten the tone and help illustrate just how unreasonable and useless that the feeling of jealousy is. From there, we can start to question our feelings and actions a little more clearly.
We hope the following quotes provide a laugh and a little perspective towards a more inspirational feeling than jealousy, but if you’d like a different perspective about just how damaging it can be, check out these quotes about jealousy further.
Funny Quotes on Jealousy
“Jealousy is a dog’s bark which attracts thieves.” Karl Kraus
“It is never wise to seek or wish for another’s misfortune. If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.” Charley Reese
“A man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied.” Mark Twain
“It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.” Aeschylus
“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.” J.R. Ward
“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.” H. G. Wells
“You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.” Gary Allan
“The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.” Johann Kaspar Lavater
“Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.” Erica Jong
“Envy and jealousy are incurable diseases.” Robert Kraft
“It’s funny how the people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.” Auliq Ice
“I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.” Jeff Foxworthy
“Envy is thin because it bites but never eats.” Spanish Proverb
“To jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter.” F. Sagan
“Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive.” Havelock Ellis
“Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting.” George Orwell
“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.” Drake
“It’s amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.” Rupert Everett
“I don’t get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you’re jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what’s the point?” Joy Behar
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” Bette Midler
“Turn the flame of jealousy into the fire of self-improvement.” Donna Goddard
“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.” Maya Angelou
“Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul.” John Dryden
“I’ve spent most of my life walking under that hovering cloud, jealousy, whose acid raindrops blurred my vision and burned holes in my heart. Once I learned to use the umbrella of confidence, the skies cleared up for me and the sunshine called joy became my faithful companion.” Astrid Alauda
“Curious thing, plain women are always jealous of their husbands, beautiful women never are!” Oscar Wilde
For more funny quotes and inspiring words, you can check out: