Just when you thought the school days of bullies and immature insults were over, there’s still the workplace, family members, supposed friends and even strangers that tend to sling the occasional mud around.
And don’t even get me started on social media! With social media providing an almost anonymous outlet for instant commentary, there’s an influx in insults these days. Unhappy people seem to want to impart their unhappiness on others by writing useless garbage online.
Whether you’re dealing with negative people in real life or over the internet, it’s not always easy to just let insults roll off your back.
When someone insults you, that instant feeling of anger, embarrassment, shame and disbelief seem to bubble up. Depending on your personality and your relationship to the ‘insulter’, you will either want to defend yourself or want to quickly retreat. Or maybe you spend the rest of the day kicking yourself over what you ‘coulda, shoulda’ have said.
While it may feel good to sink to that level in the moment, over time you’ll find that meeting insults with an insult isn’t healthy. Today I’m going to share some tips for you to stop letting insults get to you so that you can live a happier and healthier life.
How To Let Insults Roll Off Your Back
Understand That It’s Not Really About You
Quite simply, it’s not about you, it’s about them. And the quicker you realize this, the quicker the insult will become insignificant.
People who throw out insults are simply dealing with their own negative feelings or beliefs and simply throwing them out at you as an insult. Insecurity plays a role in the reason why others feel the need to be insulting rather than carry on a reasonable conversation or keeping their opinions to themselves altogether.
Their insult to you is merely a symptom of what’s going on in their own lives. I mean, happy people don’t go around insulting others, do they? They offer constructive feedback when required, they don’t throw insults around for the sake of it.
As infuriating as it is to hear a useless insult from such people, it’s far better to not engage with them.
Be Confident and Trust Yourself
Take pride in knowing who you are so that insults carry zero weight on your life and your own self-worth.
Learn to accept that you can’t please everyone, and you may offend someone any time you’re speaking or interacting with others. While social media seems to breed those, who like to insult others, there are times you may be confronted with insults at the workplace or the grocery store.
Be confident in how you live your life, who are you and how you feel about certain topics so that no one else can ever make you feel inferior.
Some people are simply toxic.
This holds true for work colleagues, family members, friends, complete strangers and social media connections. There are just some people that are toxic and will continue to insult people as a means to defend their opinions or way of life.
We only have control of ourselves, but we can control how we interact with others and what we expose ourselves to. Where possible, remove any toxic connections you have, whether it’s by limiting your social media accounts or minimizing the time spent with toxic people in your life.
Refrain from Having the Last Word
It seems to be human nature to want the last word in a conversation. This holds very true for debates or arguments. When someone insults you it’s easy to get caught up in trying to get the last word in to prove a point or validate why the insult is incorrect.
If you absolutely must say something, then the saying ‘kill them with kindness’ works a treat here. A simple
‘I’m sorry that you: feel that way/are having a bad day/see it from that perspective, but I’m doing okay/the best I can right now, and I truly wish that for you too’.
This means you aren’t stooping to their level, and often makes them second guess what they’ve said.
You’re likely to shock them and may even end up with an apology!
Ultimately, the best way to let insults just roll off you back is to laugh about it. Laugh that someone has the audacity to try to bring you down!